Is it Possible to "Stop Feeling"?
Let’s be honest. At one time or another, everyone feels at least a little lost.
We all deal with this in our own way – with some methods being healthier than others.
Feeling lost in life can be one of the most overwhelming and disheartening experiences that anyone goes through. And yet it seems to be a commonly shared human condition at different times through our navigation of this extraordinary experience, we call life.
It can manifest as debilitating uncertainty, overwhelming confusion, and detachment from our purpose or direction. These feelings can compound over time and cause an overall disengagement with life, and the meaning of life in our lives.
What may start as drifting along aimlessly on autopilot, could grow into feeling unfulfilled, which, in-turn could snowball into a sense of hopelessness.
Getting stuck in that place, asking if you even “know who you are anymore”, can be a painful, and traumatic experience. That’s not the type of life that anyone wants to lead, and that’s not the type of person that anyone would want to become.
Like many others (probably even some people you know personally), I know what that feels like.
But here’s the thing – feeling lost isn’t always a bad thing. It can serve as a wake-up call – prompting us to explore and reconnect with our true selves.
On the negative side, feeling lost can leave us feeling anxious, stressed, and devoid of motivation. It may seem like everyone around us has it figured out while we’re left spending too much time searching for answers. However, there are positives too.
Instead of continuing to “cope” by going through the motions, feeling lost allows us to reflect on our current situation, reassess what matters to us and our sense of direction in life, and ultimately presents us with an opportunity to grow into increased alignment with our authentic self.
But how do we make the most of these opportunities?
In this article, we will explore the signs of feeling lost, reflect on our current situation, and provide practical tips to find our way. So, if you’re tired of feeling adrift and ready to navigate towards a fulfilling life, then join me and let’s explore together.
Recognise the Signs Before You Take Some Form of Action
Authentically accepting the truth about how you feel, is vital.
Unfortunately it’s also sometimes easier said than done. Many of us have had years of conditioning to push away how we really feel and to put on an ‘acceptable’ facade.
If you’re not sure where you sit with your feelings, try this exercise:
In a safe private space, use a mirror, and look into your own eyes. Take a few deep breaths, place your hands over your heart and say the words “I feel lost”.
What came up for you? What tone did you use? Using descriptive language, write down the feelings you noticed after you said those words.
If you notice any feelings of guilt or shame, I want you to know: It’s okay! The way you feel is important! Accepting ourselves and how we feel is a good first step if you want to realise change in your life.
Our feelings, our thoughts, and our behaviours all intertwine. This is why introspection is such a great tool when trying to explore negative emotions and negative thoughts. There is no right or wrong. Give yourself permission to be with you in this moment with acknowledgement and care.
Recognising the signs of feeling lost can help us understand and address our emotions more effectively. Here are a few behaviours that may indicate a feeling of being lost in life:
- Lack of direction or purpose: Feeling unsure about our goals and ambitions, and a general sense of aimlessness.
- Disconnection from passions and interests: Losing interest in activities that used to bring joy and fulfilment.
- Persistent feelings of dissatisfaction: Feeling constantly dissatisfied with our current situation, even if there doesn’t seem to be an obvious reason.
Being mindful and aware of these behaviours can help us acknowledge and address our feeling of being lost. It’s important to remember that everyone experiences these feelings differently.
Acceptance and recognition are not self-pity. They’re the important first step towards finding clarity in the moment.
Don't Regret What You May Be Feeling: Listen To Your Inner Wisdom
When you feel negative (especially when you’re already overwhelmed), it can be particularly difficult to try to change the way we live our lives. One example of this is when major life events occur – at these times many people lose the ability to maintain peace and clarity.
If you’re in this position, your job is not to burden yourself with perfect self-reliance or self-help (that approach can be more effective at holding you back!). Rather, focus on the opportunity to “open your eyes” to the here and now – the opportunity to become mindful in the moment, and reflect on your current situation.
This involves looking closely at your circumstances, emotions, and choices. Taking the time to halt the “busyness” and all the chatter, to reflect – allows you to gain a deeper understanding of why you might be feeling lost and what factors are contributing to this sense of uncertainty. These inner clues point us to new insights and inner wisdom so we can grow. It also provides an opportunity to assess whether your current path aligns with your values and goals. By reflecting on your current situation, you can gain clarity and insight, which will help guide you towards uncovering root causes.
This inner wisdom is intrinsically valuable when taking responsibility for your life and breaking free from the feeling of being lost.
Identifying the factors contributing to feeling lost
If you feel lost and alone, you feel this way for a reason – don’t be afraid to move out of your comfort zone to investigate.
When you’re feeling lost in life, it’s essential to identify the specific factors that are contributing to this sense of uncertainty. This is because each person may have different reasons for feeling lost.
Understanding these factors is crucial for moving forward, but this can be challenging if a lack of self-awareness is at the heart of the matter.
One helpful exercise you can use here is free writing.
Free writing is like journaling. While there are different meanings for the term ‘free writing,’ the reason I prefer to use it is the overt intentionality that we are ‘free’ to express whatever comes to mind for us in the moment. Without judgement and with curiosity. This practice can help you stay on track, persist through setbacks, and keep working towards your goal.
Take some intentional time to reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and experiences in relation to the aspects of your life that might be causing you to feel lost. Give yourself permission to write freely i.e. whatever first comes to your thoughts. Trust that it is what is meant to be seen by yourself at this moment. Start with a question around what you would like your inner guidance on. E.g. A time I felt lost recently is… What is this experience here to teach me? This exercise can help you gain even more clarity and identify patterns or recurring themes.
Another exercise is to list your priorities and values. Determine what truly matters to you and compare it to your current situation. If there is a misalignment between your values and your day-to-day life, it could be a significant contributing factor to your feelings of being lost.
By identifying the factors contributing to your feeling of being lost, you can start to work on those specific areas of your life and take steps towards finding your way again.
Self-Improvement: Find Your Way When You Feel Lost In Life
Understand that you aren’t condemned to a lifetime of being lost!
You don’t have to stay in that place forever, there are steps you can take to break free!
Three areas we’ll look at here, are seeking support and guidance, getting reconnected with yourself, and rediscovering your strengths and interests.
Seeking Support and Guidance
Seeking support and guidance can make a tremendous difference when you feel stuck.
It’s important to recognise that you don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Reach out to trusted individuals, such as family, friends, or mentors, who can lend a listening ear and provide valuable insights. Their guidance and experiences may offer fresh ideas and new perspectives.
Additionally, you can seek personalised 1-1 coaching, or a therapist who can provide specialised expertise and strategies for overcoming obstacles. I have been blessed to have worked with so many amazing guides in my life who have helped me establish different ways of navigating all that life can hold.
Some channels for seeking support and guidance include:
- Therapists, healers or counsellors: These professionals can help you explore your emotions, thoughts, and challenges in a safe and non-judgmental environment.
- Support groups: Joining a support group allows you to connect with individuals and groups who are going through similar experiences and can offer empathy, understanding, and advice.
- Life coaches: Life coaches provide guidance and accountability in setting and achieving goals, helping you gain clarity and direction in your life.
Being around people can be challenging if you’ve always dealt with things on your own. Remember, seeking support and guidance is a courageous step towards breaking free.
Ways to Get Reconnected with Yourself
Reconnecting with yourself involves taking the time to prioritise self-care and self-reflection.
Engaging in activities that bring you joy and peace can help you reconnect with your true self and discover what truly matters to you. This could be anything from taking long walks in nature, practicing meditation or mindfulness, or engaging in creative activities like painting or writing. For me, taking a bath in the middle of the day gives me a practice of reconnecting to me. 😀 Allowing yourself space for self-reflection can also be helpful.
If you struggle with feeling positive about yourself, you can try some self-talk or self-understanding exercises such as affirmations around your self-worth. Free writing your thoughts and feelings is again powerful here, as is simply spending time alone to tune into your emotions and desires, can provide valuable insights and help you regain a sense of clarity and purpose.
Reconnecting with yourself is an ongoing process, so be kind to yourself and give yourself the time and space you need to reconnect with your true essence.
Rediscovering your strengths and interests
Rediscovering your strengths and interests (and trying new things!), can be incredibly fulfilling, especially if you’ve not really been yourself for a long period of time.
By reconnecting with what you are naturally good at and what brings you joy, you can regain a sense of purpose and direction. Take some time to reflect on your past achievements and activities that have made you feel accomplished. Consider the skills and talents that others admire in you. This might be something you used to love doing like baking a cake! Engage in activities that allow you to explore new interests and hobbies. This could be trying out a new sport, taking a class in a subject that interests you, or volunteering for a cause you are passionate about.
As with all change, sometimes fear of the unknown can creep in. If you try a new hobby, this might manifest as a fear of “wasting time”. If you find yourself in this situation, you may be feeling like there are more important things that you could be spending your time doing. In this circumstance remind yourself that you felt that way in the first place and it didn’t make a difference – that’s the whole reason why you’re investing time now to intentionally change the direction you’re heading in. With consistency, you’ll stop thinking that way so easily!
By reminding yourself of your strengths and interests, you will gain confidence and clarity in navigating your path forward.
At the heart of the matter, feeling lost at times in our human experiences is part of us coming home to the essence of who we are.
I hope this has helped you today. I’d love to hear from you – have you come out of similar situations? If so, what did you do that helped you break free?
If you’re considering personalised 1-1 coaching, feel free to get in touch today!
May you have a magical workday, every day!
